Twelve Days of Christmas -- a cautionary tale

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me,
“I’m glad we bought fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree".

On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.

On the third day of Christmas we’d people from next door. 
The turkey tasted just as good as it did the day before.

Day four, relations came to stay - poor Gran is looking old. 
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes flurried 
But we were nice and warm inside - we had our turkey curried.

On the sixth day I must admit, the Christmas spirit died.
The children fought and bickered - we ate turkey rissoles, fried.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave a wince 
When he sat down at table and was offered turkey mince.

Day eight - our nerves were getting frayed - the dog had run for shelter.
I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka-Seltzer!

On day nine our cat left home - by lunch-time, Dad was blotto
He said he had to have a drink to face turkey risotto.

By the tenth day, the wine was gone -'cept for our home-made brew.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, we suffered turkey stew !

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting; 
The mince pies were as hard as rock and the turkey was revoltingl

On the twelfth day of Christmas, our Dad just smacked his IIps
The guests had gone, the turkey too ---

​We dined on fish and chips!

Best wishes to everyone from Jane Gloster