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Twelve Days of Christmas -- a cautionary tale

22/12/2021

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On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me,
“I’m glad we bought fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree".

On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.

On the third day of Christmas we’d people from next door. 
The turkey tasted just as good as it did the day before.

Day four, relations came to stay - poor Gran is looking old. 
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes flurried 
But we were nice and warm inside - we had our turkey curried.

On the sixth day I must admit, the Christmas spirit died.
The children fought and bickered - we ate turkey rissoles, fried.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave a wince 
When he sat down at table and was offered turkey mince.

Day eight - our nerves were getting frayed - the dog had run for shelter.
I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka-Seltzer!

On day nine our cat left home - by lunch-time, Dad was blotto
He said he had to have a drink to face turkey risotto.

By the tenth day, the wine was gone -'cept for our home-made brew.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, we suffered turkey stew !

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting; 
The mince pies were as hard as rock and the turkey was revoltingl

On the twelfth day of Christmas, our Dad just smacked his IIps
The guests had gone, the turkey too ---

​We dined on fish and chips!

Best wishes to everyone from Jane Gloster 
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Hazlemere Recreation Ground, Amersham Road, Hazlemere, Bucks, HP15 7QW
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The Recreation Ground is on the A404.  If approaching from the north, travel 400m south from the Hazlemere double roundabout, slow down at Holy Trinity Church on your left and look for a small road on your right with Croquet Club and Recreation Ground signs. Coming from the south (High Wycombe) direction, we are about a kilometre north of the Royal Grammar School. 
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  • Home
  • Latest News
  • Get Involved
  • About Us
  • About Croquet
  • Academy
  • Member Area
    • GC coaching schedule
    • Members and Roles
    • Book a Lawn
    • Lawn Booking Instructions
    • Membership fees
    • Weekly Schedule and What's On
    • Club Competitions
      • 2025 Summer Competitions
      • Report Summer Result
      • EV Status Summary
      • EV1 Status
      • EV2 Status
      • EV3 Status
      • EV4 Status
      • EV5 Status
      • EV6 Status
    • Inter-Club Fixtures
    • Library
    • Honours Board
    • Constitution and Committee Minutes